When Ellen and I were first married ministry was not our 20-year plan, the Navy was. We had it all planned out; we were to spend the next 20 years with me being gone for 15. The Navy explained to my sweet new bride how grueling it would be, that I would be gone often and that even when I was around my mind would be elsewhere. Knowing that my particular career path in the Navy would be a marriage destroyer I pursued a discharge for the pursuit of higher education. With the promise of a difficult future behind us we embarked upon an easier dream where everyone would love us and things would be calm: pastoral service.
Twenty plus years later I can tell you it has been a ride we never could have anticipated. So much so that only now do I feel equipped enough to share a few things I either lacked the clarity or courage to share until this season of life. I want to share the 10 things we as pastors don’t really want you to know about us. Now in doing so my aim is not to rat out my fellow pastors. Nor am I doing this so congregants sleep with one eye open regarding their leadership. My intention is precisely the opposite. I hope that from this:
- Churches will pray all the more for their pastors because they understand the challenges.
- Churches will be doubly grateful for the fact that so many pastors stay in the saddle despite their fears, hurts and frustrations.
- People in churches will think twice before engaging in things that sink deep into the soul of their leaders.
Therefore I give a glimpse into what we as pastors don’t like to admit about ourselves.
#1. We Take It Personally When You Leave The Church.
It’s just a straight up fact. We pastors eat, drink and sleep the local church and with that have a deep desires to see it thrive. Therefore when you leave to another church because…
- you’re bothered by a recent decision, but didn’t ask about it…
- the new church has a bigger and better kids wing, youth group, worship team, building space, (fill in your blank)…
- your friends started going there…
… it hits us personally.
For us it feels disloyal, shallow or consumer driven. People affirm that church is a family, thus when you up and leave because the church down the road has Slurpee dispensers, a fog machine or it’s just cooler, well it jams us pretty deep.
#2. We Feel Pressure To Perform Week After Week.
The average TV show has a multimillion-dollar budget, a staff of writers and only airs 22 weeks out of the year; that’s what we feel we’re up against. Where the pressure is doubled comes from the previous point. We know there are churches near by with a multimillion-dollar budget or a celebrity pastor who have the ability to do many more things at a much higher level. From this a sense of urgency is created in our mind to establish the same level of quality, option and excellence to meet the consumerist desires of culture.
Now if this were exclusively in the hopes of reaching new people this wouldn’t be so bad, but increasingly pastors feel the need to do this just to retain people who may be stuff struck by the “Bigger and Better” down the way.
#3. We Struggle With Getting Our Worth From Ministry.
When the numbers are up, the complements are flowing and the people are lively we feel great. When everything is level, it feels like it’s in decline. When things are actually in decline, it’s a full-tilt tailspin in our soul. We almost can’t help but equate the growth of the church with our ability/inability to produce growth. Therefore if there is any appearance of waning we feel defeated and wonder how long before the church board wises up and trades us to another team. The “Idol of Ministry” comes on and off the shelf pretty regularly in a pastor’s office.
#4. We Regularly Think About Quitting.
This comes in two very different forms.
One form is the variation of perhaps leaving ministry all together. While there are some really great things about vocational ministry, there are also less enjoyable realities such as: pastors’ families are noticed (i.e. judged) routinely, pastors’ purchases are observed (i.e. judged) overtly and pastors’ words are weighed (i.e. judged) consistently. Therefore the ability to hide among the masses and not be noticed is very appealing.
The second form comes with the desire for a change of scenery. Pastors are shepherds, thus we love greener grass even more than sheep. To leave for a bigger budget, better building or a place with less difficult people (yeah, we get delusional sometimes) stands out as lush Kentucky Bluegrass when contrasted with the dusty patch of ragged earth called “our current church.” This “Greener Grass Gawking” usually occurs when we become too proud (“My gifts are better than this place”) or too insecure (“I stink and just need to start over”) and flows from #3.
#5. We Say We Are Transparent – It’s Actually Opaque.
Today pastors are generally more open about their struggles than previous generations, but we still sense there is a threshold that is not to be crossed. People want open, honest and real, but not too much. Generally churches want just enough so they feel safe with you, but not so much that it spoils the expectations they have of you. Unfortunately the threshold is a blurry line by which pastors never know how much is too much until its too late. After a couple of infractions we learn that opaque is safe – even if it’s isolating.
When pastors’ wives are polled on how it feels to be the spouse of someone in full-time ministry the #1 answer is one profound word, “Lonely.” They are around hundreds of people every week, but they never feel they can let their guard down because they know people have opinions on how a pastor’s wife should be. Now I know people say they don’t, but literally every church I have served in has shared unflattering stories of the previous pastor’s wife. Many of these stories came from the spiritually mature leadership who considered the pastor and his wife to be their friends. The real irony comes in when later in the conversation I would be told, “But don’t worry, we don’t have any expectations on your wife. We just want to love on her.” Right! Now I don’t blame people for this natural human tendency, but being aware of how things are keeps you relationally opaque. And it’s not merely pastors and their wives who insulate. Pastoral families at large feel alone because there is a certain level of unknown expectations buried like landmines through the field of the church and so there is a constant mode of mostly transparent.
#6. We Measure Ourselves By The Numbers.
Numbers don’t matter! Yeah right. No matter how badly we want to slap that bumper sticker on our Ford the reality is that numbers matter to us. And they matter to us it part because they matter to God. The problem however goes back to #1-3. The absence of growth in our churches can cascade into an internal turmoil by which we begin to scrounge for “The Next Big Thing” that will bring “Radical Growth” “Guaranteed.” So we read books on how to be a “Deep & Wide, Vertical, Purpose Driven, Radical Reformission, Creature of the Word, Big Idea, Center Church.” Then we jet off to a conference with thousands of other pastors who are seeking to glean the secret of success. And what is the first question we ask one another between sessions? “So, how big is your church?” Yep, we measure ourselves by the numbers.
#7 We Spend More Time Discouraged Than Encouraged.
Occasionally people say to me, “Must be awesome to get paid to study the Bible all day.” Every time they do I think to myself, “Must be awesome to be able to give someone the finger on the 520 without people saying, ‘The pastor at Redemption Church flipped me off today during rush-hour.’” I’m not fully sure why that is the comment that flashes across my mental dashboard, but I think part of it stems from what I perceive to be the tone of the comment. Rightly or wrongly I infer they are saying, “Must be nice to have such a cush gig as a paid quiet-time.” In all honestly it is pretty awesome to be paid study the Bible, but it’s a major downer when people:
- tell you – after 2 minutes of un-investigated reflection – that your 30 hours of study and 2 collegiate degrees were wrong.
- tell you that they just couldn’t stay awake today during your sermon, but no offense. (How about I fall asleep at your kid’s graduation and we’ll call it even.)
- tell you how you should have also said…
- tell you how Pastor So-N-So says…
Aside from these particular examples I find that for most pastors it generally feels like the boat is taking on water more than racing with the wind – regardless of size or rate of growth. Lead pastors particularly suffer from this since much of their job is to focus on seeing things get better, which often translates into focusing on the broken, lacking or unfilled parts of the church more than enjoying what is right and working. Many of the most faithful and fruitful pastors in history have suffered deeply with anxiety and depression for the same reasons.
#8. We Worry About What You Think.
We’re human and we want to be liked. Therefore when we know we’re going to do or say something people won’t like, we worry about it. Now when I say that I don’t mean to infer that it causes us to avoid the hard things. There are some of my fellow pastors who avoid challenging topics or decisions out of fear of people, but most of the ones I run with still choose deliver the mail regardless of the popularity of its message. Yet we still worry about how you may take it.
#9. We Struggle With Competition And Jealousy.
We like to hold ourselves above the petty fray and reiterate, “It’s all about the Kingdom,” but in reality pastors are a competitive bunch. As soon as one pastor asks another, “How big is your church?” the game is on if the two churches are within 20 miles of each other (past 20 miles we lighten up a lot and think each other is pretty cool). Within 20 miles however we begin to assess one another’s style, focus, message, sophistication and marketing. We gauge to see if it’s a “Goldilocks Church” – not to deep, not too shallow, but just right (like us). If you’re too deep we benchmark you as internally focused. If you’re too shallow we brand you as consumer-driven. If however we conclude that you too are a “Goldilocks Church” we then figure out how our church is still better than your church. If you have lame amenities, we critique that you will never grow until you reboot that 70’s sanctuary. If you have awesome amenities, we criticize that you grow only because people are shallow and care more about stuff than Scripture.
Yes we know it’s not right. We know that it’s ego driven, but we still fall victim to it. We believe our church is the best church ever and we can’t understand why everyone doesn’t see it.
#10. We Feel Like We Failed You More Than We Helped You.
Most pastors will never be famous. Most churches will never break the 100 mark. Yet we all entered ministry to change the world and reach the masses. With this we know it is the expectation of churches that we accomplish this very thing. Every job posting reinforces the idea with the sentence, “We are looking for a man that will take our church to the next level.” Then when the next level isn’t hit in the way anticipated or within the timeline envisioned – we feel like we failed you. This is especially true in light of the reality that we are our own biggest critics. We came in with expectations higher than anyone in the church. You look to us for direction and when we feel like we failed to produce we feel like we failed you.
The Everyday Missionary 
Wow. Quite open
So you are human, but so is everyone else. People are going to disagree with you. They have a right to think for themselves. Also, someone else with 2-3 degrees and 30+ hours of study probably has a different opinion than you. I’ve heard people preach something and in less than five minutes located a verse or passage that knocks out one of their main points in plain English. Their response is normally something to the tune of “That verse is confusing. It doesn’t fit with my systematic theology.” Or worse yet, “I know that, I just forgot about it this time.”
Yes people leave the church. You don’t need to know all the reasons. It’s their life not yours. Maybe they didn’t tell you why because they don’t want a fight. Maybe they’ve been through this before. Perhaps there just isn’t a place for them in the church. You are looking for greener pasture? So are they. These things work both ways.
You sound hurtful.
So it hurts you that people read the bible and think about it rather than blindly following someone? It hurts you that people think about what is best for themselves and their families more than they think about the size of your church? After all, you admitted you’re counting numbers. Numbers. That’s one reason people leave churches and organizations. They’re just numbers. Pastors aren’t the only ones hurt in churches either. Ordinary people are hurt too. That’s another reason they leave.
It never hurts me that people read the Bible. (1) Assumption toward me. (2) I only want good things for you probably like the Pastor you bash. Assumption again. Lets get it straight! I never admitted anything to you, I was only defending a brother who had the Courage to open up so that others could learn. Hurting people usually hurt others, the fact that you are contributing to the pain by saying things like this only prove the truth. The numbers thing(3) Assumption. People want growth they just do not want the Process and it does involve numbers.There are always numbers involved, even in Scripture. Read it! Sorry you already know this. He would not confide in you because you are shallow and Obvious.
First you jump to all sorts of unsubstantiated projections regarding pastorboz, now you do the same thing with regard to Tim’s critique of your rather ridiculous comments. It will be interesting to see how you attack me for suggesting that you will benefit from learning to listen more than you speak.
I have listened a lot in life. I see you are both ripe for an argument, and willing to hurt more than I have ever been.You’ve made up your minds about me and my motives, and you won’t change your assumptions. You may go on with others, but I have said my piece. I will spend no more time on either of you.
Good!
it’s great to have all the answers.
Reblogged this on justindhinakar.
A brave and honest post awesome, many sad truths in it. Thanks for posting I feel a little less alone. Cheers
This was an awesome read! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us. I always wondered what it would be like to be a preacher or preacher’s wife and the struggles they silently suffer through. Actually, a lot of this sounds like a variation of the struggles that we ALL have in our every day lives, job-related or otherwise. Thanks for your courage and honesty.
Absolutely wonderful post.
It was nice to read about the inner world of the pastors. I guess it is not an easy life and everyone is somewhat affected (pastor and his family). Pastors choose this life and wife marries the pastor knowing how the life is going to be. It is a high pressure job to look calm inspite of all that is going on withing you (as per what you have written) . I guess it is the children who may face the biggest challenge, especially during their formative years.
Maybe church isn’t meant to be the way you describe it. Some of the things you describe are just part of being human. The other things are linked to being part of hyper-religious institutional systems. And, maybe, Jesus has something far more freeing for his children outside of those systems. I could be wrong. Jesus could be calling you to the bondage of institutionalism. Of having to be everything you feel pressured to be. But I’m not entirely sure of who would want to be part of an organization like that anyway, whether you call it church or whatever. A group of people pressuring one man to produce, doesn’t sound anything like a group of Christ followers. Sounds more like a bunch of corporate shareholders. So, go ahead and stay in the pressure cooker of Christian institutionalism if you feel so called. But if you choose to stay in the system, don’t blame the people who are in the system for your struggles. Only you or Jesus are to blame, if He’s the one who’s keeping you there. But I find it hard to believe that He wants to keep anyone slaving away in man-made religious systems. The Life He offers seems much more freeing than that.
You nailed it!
Church ministry is very hard! And I truly feel empathy for those who do serve. I used to teach, and serve as chair of the worship and music committee, and some fill-in preaching. Even those modest commitments (in comparison) were hard. But then my oldest son told me he was an atheist… and my life changed.
http://lifeafter40.net/
This is spot on. I’m not a pastor but work in a ministry where I relate to a number. I’m so thankful for the pastor of our congregation but I know he wrestles with this stuff. Thanks for your faithful service and your vulnerability. Seems like there is a good deal of Christ-likeness in that.
“I feel sorry for you Jim, because you are obviously being lulled into thinking that you have it all figured out, that Satan is not lurking in you head and heart and that its just you and Jesus rattling around in that sack of bones of yours. The devil is setting you up for a very big fall brother. I’ll pray for you today, that you will be tested in a small way, so that you will learn to lean on Jesus even more BECAUSE of your weakness.”
Well, Gene, I can see you aren’t ready to see nor hear light emanating from the Sacred Scriptures today, and I have to wonder if there were ever a time you did have faith in anything that brings the beauty of truth to anyone! When Christ came into this world, there were very spiritually powerful people on the Earth in the Middle East, and I fear if you had been there 2000 years ago, would you listen to anything these people spoke of, or would you be a member hard and fast, of the Sanhedrin? Just because I have noted a few things that distort you present thoughts doesn’t mean you have a smidgin of truth involved in those words of yours which I set up in quotes at the beginning of this reply.
You know, at the time I had a most exquisite conversion experience many years ago, the very first thing I did after that blessed experience, was that I headed out to the home of my girlfriend, and told her we must break up, as the way we are living in not right. She was shell-shot about it, but I knew this was the very first walk in obedience the Father desired of me.
When I moved to a more reasonable apartment price wise, my former girlfriend appeared there, and she asked me a good deal about my experience, and having my head not in the Sacred Scriptures a goodly number of hours per day, and so because of her seeming honesty I explained the beauty of conversion, and how for the first time in my ADULT life, I knew I was a Child of the Living God, and was now studying, to find out about the Scriptures, as this was where I was moved, and I needed to know what was right and wrong in the eyes of the Master. She told me she felt she would be more apt to feel well that night, if I could allow her to stay at my place that night, and at close to 2330h, I told her she could have my bed, and I would take the chesterfield. Later we both found out, although we were broken up, she found herself pregnant, and thought it must have been my child.
In great honesty and very sorry if this were the truth, I told her the child would always have a Dad, and that I would never turn away from the child, but I had no desire to marry the woman. We talked about a good deal of this, but we had been together for 2 years, and I knew I would not desire to marry.
A month later, I found a church group I thought would be good for me to join, and that denomination sent a minister to my place once per week for Bible studies, and I invited my ex to these meetings, as although I knew it would be best on a practical level to just stay away from her period, as I was then a Christian, I could not see her missing out on Heaven and eternal life, simply due to the practicality of my remaining away from her. Through all of these things, we only communicated with one another as friends. One afternoon when I noted to this pastor, that this woman was pregnant with our child, he immediately said, “Best thing for you two, is to get married! That is what I feel the Lord would want.” and as I had been a Christian at that time for only 2 months, I began to pray about this, as I was absolutely certain to remain single, and I wanted to find a woman who had not ever lived anything like my life, yet I did not desire to find a woman whatever at the time. Believing the minister was much closer to the Father than I was, as he’s been a minister at that time, for 26 years, I decided I should go against my own thoughts about this, and did as the minister suggested.
For 4 years, that marriage was relatively OK, but I began to see and hear about things going on most especially with my wife, when I had to leave the City for different parts on business. The last 4 years of that marriage were as I has presumed; she was not, and had not been a student of the Scriptures, and one night, I learned of her doing far more than flirting with a student of mine, I was preparing for baptism. Soon, I was giving her far too much money, and she was appearing at home at very late hours in the early morning, and with alcohol on her breath and other things such as a white powder on her nose. Eventually, as I could only take 4 months of her going totally against the morals of marriage, I left, and we were divorced on Bible grounds!
It was my own mistake however, as I should not ever have gone against what I clearly believed was the Spirit’s directing me to simply be the Dad of that child, but not to marry her. I could write a Book about 8 years of marriage, and passive aggressive behavior for all of those years.
And so, Gene, I have two things to say to you: 1/ You don’t know me? You have no idea how the great and merciful Eloah on the Throne in Heaven, has used me over the years, to do His will with much successful spiritual fruit being seen, and simply because I have written the truth that you dislike, you have neither the experience, nor the ability to understand at present, whether or not your emotionality concerning me, is right or wrong, mainly because emotions have no logical function in the mind; it’s all about feeling.
2/ You, I presume a minister, have done that which I can find in any part of a Big City, if I go there to witness for Christ! You have delivered ad hominems galore, the sheepish methodology of one who has no Scriptural answers to show me where I am wrong concerning the light presently clearly shining forth from the Sacred Scriptures. But, as a man of Yahuwah Eloah, our Father and your own, possibly, I do wish you all the best in whatever you do or are doing. I explained to you the manner of the Gospel, and I want you to keep that, and study it, and recognize this will be one of the few means whereby anyone arrested because he or she is a Christian, might come forth from a jail cell, and explain why Christ as the Door, is the only One on Earth, Who is the Saviour of mankind, and express that all of the others, because they do not claim to be the Creator of Earth and all created to live here, can be the only One Who does save to the uttermost.
I will keep my eyes open here, and will have a word or two to say herein, as the Spirit leads me. You need firstly to try to act like a man, and not a very young and uncool person. You may well change your ways, through the words of the many who possibly will look into this url, and have some words to say!
Shepherds have a higher calling than do the sheep.
If you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen.
What a bunch of hooey!! Those who make this claim aren’t sheep, but goats.
Your calling is pretty high also. You zoom in on the Pastors and zoom out on yours
I disagree with many of these. For example, they are not my sheep, they are His and if they leave that is His problem not mine. I am not performance minded, I am Christ minded. In Him I live and move and have my being. It is He that performs through me. The love of Christ compels me. Success or failure is not a concern, because it is Him.
Nice of you to pronounce yourself “Christ Minded” Does not appear so if you have to announce.
Sure Tim, and we have all the pastors to thank for pointing out how difficult it is to be a pastor and a christian. Try being a christian public school teacher – now that is pressure. You know how you handle it – you go to God. You don’t blog about it.
What I find so striking, is that none of the 10 things you listed would have been characteristics attributed to Jesus. So maybe instead of admitting your flaws, you should simply put on your big-boy pants, repent, and change your attitude. Either that or quit the ministry so that others who don’t have so fragile an ego can take your place in ministry.
Yes. Those 10 things draw all attention from Christ and harm the church.
Admit weakness and live in His strength.
What I find so striking, is that none of the 10 things you listed could be characterized as being attributes of Jesus. Maybe what you need to do is pull up your big-boy pants, repent, and change your attitude. Either that, or quit the ministry altogether so that others who do not have such a fragile ego can take your place in the ministry.
The Church, including its leadership, has to work to diminish the destructiveness of jealousy and envy from its ranks.
read it
Pastors hate to admit that there human and not perfect and sin just like everyone else
Have you read the comments, minann? You see what happens when a pastor does confess to his humanness. And this from what is supposed to be the body of Christ, those who have a role to play as priests for one another. Is it little wonder that few pastors are willing to be as transparent as pastorboz if this is the recption they get?
Annette? I’ve suffered no pain!blessed n happy n praying for this world and false prophets
If offended i wasn’t had to many pastors tell amount to anything in life,nothing i post in freshly pressed heys posted ill delete this blogsite
Amen, Gene.
I find it hard to believe that these comments come from Church folks, they sound hurtful and un Christ like. Is there not even room to express an opinion or try to help other pastors with words of sympathy. No wonder this guy is writing, these people are cold. maybe they should put on there big boy pants and try it for a while. Amazing what distance people will go to hurt one another.
Amen!!
Yes, some of these comments come from regular church folks like us. Because what is supposed to separate the pastor from the rest of the world is a call that far surpasses the rest of the world’s opportunities. When a pastor simply complains about what is clearly a sin issue then I have no room for sympathy. Everything on this list amounts to pride and covetousness. You define success as having more. Did you ever thing God was withholding such “success” simply because you’re not bring faithful with what He gives you? Paul gets shipwrecked, beaten and imprisoned and he boasts. John the Baptist gets beheaded and Jesus takes the day off before jumping back into ministering to people. Someone leaves your church and you’re throwing a pity party? Admitting to unforeseen challenges is one thing. I’m all for helping co-laborers in ministry. But if over the years, you don’t have a mentor or Senior Pastor to bring these issues to, then the public airwaves isn’t the place to start.
lukejallison I am surprised you quote scripture and call your self regular Church folk. I believe you are “Regular”. Nothing special because there is nothing biblical about you tearing down because of his expression.Why don t you take Barnabas as an example for your self and try to encourage! In my opinion u need to seek Counseling for your bitter tone. You make a lot of assumptions and read things based on your so called knowledge. I believe you have a cold heart that needs a touch from God.Man The people are trying to cripple the wounded. That will teach him to talk about his feelings!
Well, Tim, you are a blessing, imho
Being “like” anyone or anything is an imitation. Only Christ can be Christ. Please think about that for a while.
Thank you for your take. Your thoughts and feelings are much appreciated.
Fascinating article.
Reblogged this on joe ijomah.
Note to self: never read the comments after reading the article. Lol. I thought the article was insightful. I hate to admit, I rarely think abt my pastor’s daily struggles. You guys always seem to have it so together that I forget that you are human, and just like the rest of us- trying to make it through the day loving the Lord, spreading the gospel, and fighting sin (although that may sound simple-it’s not always for me, as I’m sure its not for you.) I’m sorry so many have negative opinions on your feelings. I can only assume you might have had a hard day, wrote some of your feelings down, and were hoping for some encouragement. There is now another praying for your daily struggles, and for some of the people that left comments maybe for an openheart and shut mouth.
whoops. Not very christian like either. I guess I’ll pray for myself too. 🙂
I’m a pastors kid and i so understand!
nicolestiff.wordpress.com
i think that about sum it all up don’t you?
they also worry about whether people realize they are human and have actual emotions and they are not perfect.
dailyquizquestion.wordpress.com
Reblogged this on Letters to my Life…Finding My Way to Purpose. and commented:
I think this is a good look at what pastors may feel from time to time and helps us to remember that they too can be hurt by our actions and words.
You know what, Pastor… your members must be encouraged to be discipled and disciple… becuase honestly, idle people never grows. Give each of the member the responsibility to also win more souls.. they, too, are also commissioned to do that anyway. The command of Jesus does not only limit itself to Pastors.. Go ye therefore and make disciples of all nations… discipleship is getting the world back in order. Remember how Jesus started it all… He started in choosing His 12 disciples.. and then these disciples also did the same through Him..
As a member in our church, I, too, have had breakthroughs in my spiritual life. I was once a skeptical member in church, but because of discipleship, I grew more in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ.. and now, I am also leading disciples God has entrusted me.. go, Pastor! God bless you!
Reblogged this on shmilyqqqq.
Inspiring piece.Thank you
I’m not religious, never have been, never will be – but have always respected and admired the labours of religious workers of all kinds. Your open honesty is both interesting and entertaining to read! I wish you and your church all the best.
Thanks so much for such a fresh take on this topic. God bless you in your work.
Thanks for showing us that we are not alone in our thoughts.
I think the problem is compounded now of days that land cost, etc. are making the traditional models untenable for the smaller/ poorer churches. It seems like it’s go mega or go home.
Reblogged this on Fuel For Life.
Hahahaha,I really am one other Pastor who feel the same like the one discussed here
Reblogged this on Rap Entertainment.
very nice post…
Reblogged this on Johnson Akoja's Blog and commented:
God Help Us
Reblogged this on Is there anyone listening? and commented:
Wow, thank you for this eye opener. I for one will pray more for my pastor. I realize he is also human!
That’s too bad, Min. I find that those who are willing to allow themselves to be touched by others, are also more sensitive so as to take care not to hurt others themselves. On the other hand, those that aren’t tend to do damage and, in your own words, “could carless [sic].”
Thank you so much for your courageous and transparent posting. As a worship pastor, I can say that I relate to the realness, but I’m sure it doesn’t compare to the intesity that the pastors I serve under currently experience. Lead pastors are on the front lines of battle and they get weary from the attacks they face from all angles and forms. I worked for my first pastors as their right hand lady for two years and as blessed as I felt for the opportunity, I also decided that I didn’t want to marry a pastor. Lol I saw what they went through on a day to day basis. It not only rent my heart, but made me angry to see how professed Christians treated them as they in response handled each person gracefully and lovingly. Of course, God lead me to a man who was a youth director at the time and now is the Associate Pastor of our church. God showed us that He called us to this church and we weren’t to leave for any reason unless He told us to. We’ve been through some tough times but have remained faithful. What if everyone in the Body had this outlook? I know that God calls us to move onto our next destination sometimes (He did with me when I met my hubby as I knew I was called to be where he was even after being in my home church for over 20 years.) Bless this pastor and all other lead pastors! Instead of criticizing, let the love of God consume your hearts and may intercessory prayers flow instead of harsh words.
Reblogged this on Urchnet's Blog.
IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!!
I THINK YOU MISS THE POINT OF BEING A PREACHER
I think you missed the point of the article. He was not complaining, rather, he was illuminating the reader about aspects of being a pastor that non-pastors are generally not aware of.
While every occupation (for lack of a better word) involves stress and pressure, many people in our pews simply do not understand that being a Pastor is so much more than what you see on Sunday Morning.
I have had people come by the office to “hang out” for hours because (and I quote), “I figured you guys weren’t doing anything today.” I have not heard people make this same assumption about other occupations.
Many occupations are thankless…being a wife, mother, parent, friend, or worker.
Jo, I think you missed the point of the article. Pastorboz never said that it was all about him, nor did he even come close to implying that pastors have it rougher than others. He isn’t looking for sympathy. He certainly isn’t saying that he isn’t thankful. Rather, for those who care to understand, here are some things that sometimes (again, not continually, nor all of these for every pastor) are part of how pastors experience life in the church. From interaction with my wife, my mother, my parents, friends, and co-workers they always appreciated when I showed that I had some understanding of what it was like to walk a mile in their shoes. Of course, not everyone cares to see things through the eyes of their fellow human beings. If you’re not one of those seeks to understand as much as they do to be understood, then this post was wasted on you. You’re free to go about focused on your own thing.
All 10 things listed are the product of a man-made religious system that Father never intended for His People. It is sad that a brother feels like he must sit atop a hierarchical religious order isolated from healthy relationships and godly community.
Thank you for your honest appraisal of being a pastor – it has real connections withHandmade artisans – your genuine feeling shines through
Reblogged this on Southern Vein Care and commented:
This is a great blog and I recommend if you have attended church.