When Ellen and I were first married ministry was not our 20-year plan, the Navy was. We had it all planned out; we were to spend the next 20 years with me being gone for 15. The Navy explained to my sweet new bride how grueling it would be, that I would be gone often and that even when I was around my mind would be elsewhere. Knowing that my particular career path in the Navy would be a marriage destroyer I pursued a discharge for the pursuit of higher education. With the promise of a difficult future behind us we embarked upon an easier dream where everyone would love us and things would be calm: pastoral service.
Twenty plus years later I can tell you it has been a ride we never could have anticipated. So much so that only now do I feel equipped enough to share a few things I either lacked the clarity or courage to share until this season of life. I want to share the 10 things we as pastors don’t really want you to know about us. Now in doing so my aim is not to rat out my fellow pastors. Nor am I doing this so congregants sleep with one eye open regarding their leadership. My intention is precisely the opposite. I hope that from this:
- Churches will pray all the more for their pastors because they understand the challenges.
- Churches will be doubly grateful for the fact that so many pastors stay in the saddle despite their fears, hurts and frustrations.
- People in churches will think twice before engaging in things that sink deep into the soul of their leaders.
Therefore I give a glimpse into what we as pastors don’t like to admit about ourselves.
#1. We Take It Personally When You Leave The Church.
It’s just a straight up fact. We pastors eat, drink and sleep the local church and with that have a deep desires to see it thrive. Therefore when you leave to another church because…
- you’re bothered by a recent decision, but didn’t ask about it…
- the new church has a bigger and better kids wing, youth group, worship team, building space, (fill in your blank)…
- your friends started going there…
… it hits us personally.
For us it feels disloyal, shallow or consumer driven. People affirm that church is a family, thus when you up and leave because the church down the road has Slurpee dispensers, a fog machine or it’s just cooler, well it jams us pretty deep.
#2. We Feel Pressure To Perform Week After Week.
The average TV show has a multimillion-dollar budget, a staff of writers and only airs 22 weeks out of the year; that’s what we feel we’re up against. Where the pressure is doubled comes from the previous point. We know there are churches near by with a multimillion-dollar budget or a celebrity pastor who have the ability to do many more things at a much higher level. From this a sense of urgency is created in our mind to establish the same level of quality, option and excellence to meet the consumerist desires of culture.
Now if this were exclusively in the hopes of reaching new people this wouldn’t be so bad, but increasingly pastors feel the need to do this just to retain people who may be stuff struck by the “Bigger and Better” down the way.
#3. We Struggle With Getting Our Worth From Ministry.
When the numbers are up, the complements are flowing and the people are lively we feel great. When everything is level, it feels like it’s in decline. When things are actually in decline, it’s a full-tilt tailspin in our soul. We almost can’t help but equate the growth of the church with our ability/inability to produce growth. Therefore if there is any appearance of waning we feel defeated and wonder how long before the church board wises up and trades us to another team. The “Idol of Ministry” comes on and off the shelf pretty regularly in a pastor’s office.
#4. We Regularly Think About Quitting.
This comes in two very different forms.
One form is the variation of perhaps leaving ministry all together. While there are some really great things about vocational ministry, there are also less enjoyable realities such as: pastors’ families are noticed (i.e. judged) routinely, pastors’ purchases are observed (i.e. judged) overtly and pastors’ words are weighed (i.e. judged) consistently. Therefore the ability to hide among the masses and not be noticed is very appealing.
The second form comes with the desire for a change of scenery. Pastors are shepherds, thus we love greener grass even more than sheep. To leave for a bigger budget, better building or a place with less difficult people (yeah, we get delusional sometimes) stands out as lush Kentucky Bluegrass when contrasted with the dusty patch of ragged earth called “our current church.” This “Greener Grass Gawking” usually occurs when we become too proud (“My gifts are better than this place”) or too insecure (“I stink and just need to start over”) and flows from #3.
#5. We Say We Are Transparent – It’s Actually Opaque.
Today pastors are generally more open about their struggles than previous generations, but we still sense there is a threshold that is not to be crossed. People want open, honest and real, but not too much. Generally churches want just enough so they feel safe with you, but not so much that it spoils the expectations they have of you. Unfortunately the threshold is a blurry line by which pastors never know how much is too much until its too late. After a couple of infractions we learn that opaque is safe – even if it’s isolating.
When pastors’ wives are polled on how it feels to be the spouse of someone in full-time ministry the #1 answer is one profound word, “Lonely.” They are around hundreds of people every week, but they never feel they can let their guard down because they know people have opinions on how a pastor’s wife should be. Now I know people say they don’t, but literally every church I have served in has shared unflattering stories of the previous pastor’s wife. Many of these stories came from the spiritually mature leadership who considered the pastor and his wife to be their friends. The real irony comes in when later in the conversation I would be told, “But don’t worry, we don’t have any expectations on your wife. We just want to love on her.” Right! Now I don’t blame people for this natural human tendency, but being aware of how things are keeps you relationally opaque. And it’s not merely pastors and their wives who insulate. Pastoral families at large feel alone because there is a certain level of unknown expectations buried like landmines through the field of the church and so there is a constant mode of mostly transparent.
#6. We Measure Ourselves By The Numbers.
Numbers don’t matter! Yeah right. No matter how badly we want to slap that bumper sticker on our Ford the reality is that numbers matter to us. And they matter to us it part because they matter to God. The problem however goes back to #1-3. The absence of growth in our churches can cascade into an internal turmoil by which we begin to scrounge for “The Next Big Thing” that will bring “Radical Growth” “Guaranteed.” So we read books on how to be a “Deep & Wide, Vertical, Purpose Driven, Radical Reformission, Creature of the Word, Big Idea, Center Church.” Then we jet off to a conference with thousands of other pastors who are seeking to glean the secret of success. And what is the first question we ask one another between sessions? “So, how big is your church?” Yep, we measure ourselves by the numbers.
#7 We Spend More Time Discouraged Than Encouraged.
Occasionally people say to me, “Must be awesome to get paid to study the Bible all day.” Every time they do I think to myself, “Must be awesome to be able to give someone the finger on the 520 without people saying, ‘The pastor at Redemption Church flipped me off today during rush-hour.’” I’m not fully sure why that is the comment that flashes across my mental dashboard, but I think part of it stems from what I perceive to be the tone of the comment. Rightly or wrongly I infer they are saying, “Must be nice to have such a cush gig as a paid quiet-time.” In all honestly it is pretty awesome to be paid study the Bible, but it’s a major downer when people:
- tell you – after 2 minutes of un-investigated reflection – that your 30 hours of study and 2 collegiate degrees were wrong.
- tell you that they just couldn’t stay awake today during your sermon, but no offense. (How about I fall asleep at your kid’s graduation and we’ll call it even.)
- tell you how you should have also said…
- tell you how Pastor So-N-So says…
Aside from these particular examples I find that for most pastors it generally feels like the boat is taking on water more than racing with the wind – regardless of size or rate of growth. Lead pastors particularly suffer from this since much of their job is to focus on seeing things get better, which often translates into focusing on the broken, lacking or unfilled parts of the church more than enjoying what is right and working. Many of the most faithful and fruitful pastors in history have suffered deeply with anxiety and depression for the same reasons.
#8. We Worry About What You Think.
We’re human and we want to be liked. Therefore when we know we’re going to do or say something people won’t like, we worry about it. Now when I say that I don’t mean to infer that it causes us to avoid the hard things. There are some of my fellow pastors who avoid challenging topics or decisions out of fear of people, but most of the ones I run with still choose deliver the mail regardless of the popularity of its message. Yet we still worry about how you may take it.
#9. We Struggle With Competition And Jealousy.
We like to hold ourselves above the petty fray and reiterate, “It’s all about the Kingdom,” but in reality pastors are a competitive bunch. As soon as one pastor asks another, “How big is your church?” the game is on if the two churches are within 20 miles of each other (past 20 miles we lighten up a lot and think each other is pretty cool). Within 20 miles however we begin to assess one another’s style, focus, message, sophistication and marketing. We gauge to see if it’s a “Goldilocks Church” – not to deep, not too shallow, but just right (like us). If you’re too deep we benchmark you as internally focused. If you’re too shallow we brand you as consumer-driven. If however we conclude that you too are a “Goldilocks Church” we then figure out how our church is still better than your church. If you have lame amenities, we critique that you will never grow until you reboot that 70’s sanctuary. If you have awesome amenities, we criticize that you grow only because people are shallow and care more about stuff than Scripture.
Yes we know it’s not right. We know that it’s ego driven, but we still fall victim to it. We believe our church is the best church ever and we can’t understand why everyone doesn’t see it.
#10. We Feel Like We Failed You More Than We Helped You.
Most pastors will never be famous. Most churches will never break the 100 mark. Yet we all entered ministry to change the world and reach the masses. With this we know it is the expectation of churches that we accomplish this very thing. Every job posting reinforces the idea with the sentence, “We are looking for a man that will take our church to the next level.” Then when the next level isn’t hit in the way anticipated or within the timeline envisioned – we feel like we failed you. This is especially true in light of the reality that we are our own biggest critics. We came in with expectations higher than anyone in the church. You look to us for direction and when we feel like we failed to produce we feel like we failed you.
The Everyday Missionary 
Reblogged this on Zera Today Blog.
Now I have a better idea about how my parents feel. They’re rabbis, so they have a lot of pressure to work under. Good thing they’re both well-liked in the community.
It sounds like to me that churches are a business more than a family. Perhaps if people would think of their place of worship as family they could work things out and not leave their religious leaders so quickly. Maybe your religious community will read this and admit things to you and work things together with you and other religious leaders!
Believe me. Families are much harder to lead than businesses. While there is no doubt an administrative aspect to church leadership, the most pressure comes from family issues. Imagine writing a 5 to 10 page term paper to be read to a large crowd this Sunday morning. This paper has to be engaging, relevant, and accurate. It can’t just be read, it has to be taught. So you need to be well informed on your subject. As you stand in front of the crowd teaching your paper, you constantly scan the group and see marriages that are falling apart, dysfunctional family members, grieving people, apathetic attenders and even some hostile stares from time to time. You know that everyone you are speaking with could benefit from what you are saying, but in your heart, you know that it just doesn’t get through to most. Now, repeat this same process 49 to 52 weeks per year, for years on end. What kind of pressure would that create for you over time? That’s just the preaching end of things. The family stuff hits when those troubled marriages come to you as a last ditch effort. Then you have a funeral to preach. Then you have a contentious member on a team you need to meet with that night. This is why we refer to being a pastor as a “calling.” It’s not all bad. There are sweet times of ministry. Like when you pronounce a couple man and wife, baptize a new believer, hear an excellent question asked about the Bible by one of you small group members, etc. Until you’ve been a pastor, you really can’t understand the pressures that surround the calling.
Thank you for being so candid. Its extremely refreshing. 🙂
The books have already told you what you need, just guilt them into thinking that leaving is like a divorce from the church, just as things in a marriage are not pleasant nor is some issues in a church family! You will get more people to realize their pettiness that way!
Or just have the divorce thing …
Yup
Being a pastor is a really, really tough job. Much credit to you and your colleagues for your willingness to give your all to God’s glory. Happy Easter!
I like your message !
I dont do church because of the congregation
I like Jesus, I just don’t like His bride!?!
I am having some troubles with finding those who are being noted by Yahoo, as saying this and that, so I hope this makes it back to you dear one who noted, “I like Jesus, I just don’t like His Bride!” This may seem as if splitting hairs, but I do try never to allow anyone to have a view that is not Scriptural! The True Bride of Yahusha Messiah is by most people that enjoy church, all of the Christian Family who will be found in the New Jerusalem, a week approximately after the Second Coming, but this is not true!
You do not yet know the Bride, neither does the Bride know itself, as the True Bride of Yahusha, is the group we know of as the 144,000.
This group is already receiving and acting upon light that is coming forth from the Sacred Scriptures, to be learned and acted upon at this time. All Bible students who actually do study their Bibles, are well-aware we live in the last days of this old world’s history; at that time when the three types of believers are turned into only two. The 3 types, are True Believers Who Live the Life; total unbelievers; Laodiceans. And it is the Laodicean believers of the Three, who are in the most trouble spiritually. Scriptural truth coming forth at this time, will bring many unbelievers into the True Believers Group, but at the same time, will bring Laodiceans into the unbelievers group. Laodiceans are well-known by those who have and do study the Book of Revelation, because they realize the Master has actually promised a blessing for all who do indeed study that Book!
There ARE many who believe there is no reason to study Revelation, as they say, “It cannot be understood, being apocalyptic!” Well, so is the Book of Daniel, and must be studied with Revelation always, and the Revelation together with Daniel; however, how does anyone come to that conclusion as to inability of comprehending Revelation when in the first Chapter, we read these words: “The Revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave unto him, to shew unto his servants things which must shortly come to pass; and he sent and signified it by his angel unto his servant John: 2: Who bare record of the word of God, and of the testimony of Jesus Christ, and of all things that he saw. 3: BLESSED IS HE THAT READETH, AND THEY THAT HEAR THE WORDS OF THIS PROPHECY, AND KEEP THOSE THINGS THAT ARE WRITTEN THEREIN: for the time is at hand” (Revelation 1: 1 – 3, KJV).
In the study of the Book of Revelation, it will become very plain to all, that the True Bride of Messiah Yahusha, is that group called the 144,000, in Chapter 7 and Chapter 14. That which many ask (most especially those who have not become Scriptural students), is why Second Death, the punishment of the Wicked, which is eternal separation from the Father, was suffered by Messiah, and yet He went back into the Third Heaven just having been called forth from that death, which lasted only three days? The only answer that truly does make sense, is that 1/ Yahusha felt all of the pain and suffering that the Wicked will feel, as after the Millennium, they will writhe in the fire that comes from Heaven sent by Father, to the Earth, when having surrounded the New Jerusalem which has been transported from the Third Heaven unto the Earth together with Yahusha and the saints of all the earth ages, these Wicked together with Satan and the rest of the fallen angels kneel and confess the words noted in Philippians 2: 10, 11, but thereafter, Satan stands to his feet to attack the New Jerusalem, stirring all to their feet to do the same, but at that very time, that fire bursts upon the Wicked, and does eventually create ashes out of them (Malachi 4: 3).
The answer to the question concerning only Three days for Messiah to receive the true punishment of the Wicked, is that Christ was separated from His Holy Spirit forever, rather than from the Father, remembering that He was Elohim, together with His Father. Thus, while not separated from His Father forever, He was separated from His own divinity forever! But, He receives a special gift given to Him of the Father for this great condescension: A Bride who has (all) suffered the same suffering from a deathly wicked world in the last days, and this 144,000 shall abide together with the Messiah, always, as His Bride. Being a part of this Bride, has been a desire of mine for many years now, and although none of us is individually worthy of such a blessing, I cannot understand how anyone would fail in wanting this if indeed it is the will of the Father!
Reblogged this on The Merry Go Round.
I am not a believer, though I spent a good patch of childhood in one of those mega churches you mention; because of that I appreciate your candor. We are now looking at a Unitarian church, so that our daughter has a chance to choose her own path, and I hope she (and we) find the same honesty you are sharing here.
My father and grandfather were both Baptist preachers. I call myself a recovering Baptist, mainly because of all you said, as well as all the comments I read before I got to the point that I wanted to puke. Christianity is a myth based belief system that was invented by Paul. I truly believe that if Jesus were to appear on the present scene and see what is being said and done in his name, he would be appalled. The problem with Christian churches is that it is all about the “show.” The fact is that spirituality does not need religion.
Dear Waking of the Bear: I am sorry I could not find your notation, after I had hit the reply button; however, I liked your words, something such as Truth needs no form of religion. This is a really clear observation you have made, Bear, but I fear you have made a choice to throw out the baby together with the bathwater, which is a most disturbing matter to me. Did you realize there is only one Way of Life on planet Earth which states that mankind cannot save himself, and therefore needs a Saviour? If anything of truth has been written, these words help us all to see just how needful the Way of Christianity really is.
And too, in John 10, these words are so very true, and they speak to all of the other religions that are being taught and lived on planet Earth. Here are those words: “Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that entereth NOT BY THE DOOR INTO THE SHEEPFOLD, but climbeth up some other way, the same is a thief and a robber. 2: But he that entereth in BY THE DOOR is the shepherd of the sheep. 3: To him the porter openeth; and the sheep hear his voice: and he calleth his own sheep by name, and leadeth them out”
(John 10: 1 – 3). You see Bear, when the Saviour came into His own Creation, He came as all mankind in ONE MAN! This means that because He lived a perfect life, we by faith, can receive by faith, His perfect life, as ours; and, when He died AS US an awful death, by faith, this death does not need to ever be suffered by you, for Messiah did this as you. The Son Who became our Saviour, even when we were terrible sinners, took our punishment as His own, to prove to you, of all the religions and various beliefs in our world, there is only One, which asks nothing of you, but to place your faith in the One Who did all, that you could become worthy in Him, to freely win eternal life. That is HUGE when speaking of spiritual truth Bear, and although I am not going to beg, I would surely beg, if I thought this would change your mind!
Satan, called the counterfeiter, has been playing with the perfect truth found in the Scriptures for a great deal of time, and he has caused great trouble within Christianity. But neither you nor I choose to judge a book by its cover, so we cannot judge a Way of Life, by those who for the most part, know very little about Christianity and what it teaches. But I do guarantee you, if you would want to ask a few questions, maybe questions which make you hate the thought about Christianity, I will gladly speak to you of her teachings, because and I do mean this word, FEW are aware of the real truths that live within Christianity, but aren’t being practiced, because Satan has a good deal barred up, some truths as to what a Christian really is, for almost 1500 years. You would possibly change your mind, if you learned some of these truths. If you can think about these things that make your feelings about Christianity drop sharply downward, tell me why, and ask the question, because I am a guy who left one denomination altogether, and now I have been away from the Second One, for 7 years, and not at all thinking to go back. I think this is what the Master’s desire for these days are, meaning you could be receiving messages from Yahusha that agrees perfectly with Heaven’s manner of bringing all this to an end.
You will have my email below. I am truly interested in speaking with you, Bear, and I do honestly believe I can help. Email me and let’s get to know one another, and bring forth in both our minds and hearts, possibly the most important subjects two people can discuss. I will be awaiting your initial email! Be well blessed!
How dare you think that I need help, or that you can help me in any way! That’s the problem with you Christians, you think that your way is the only way. It is not, and you are very arrogant (probably a sin) to think so. You need to read the book “The Zealot” and try to keep an open mind about who Jesus, the historical person, really was.,
I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ Of Later Day Saints and I had spent some time in Southern California speaking to many pastures. It’s nice seeing it from this perspective. No doubt I was low on their lists of people they wish were around, but there were many who were very kind.
You have a good message you are sharing right now.
Suggestion: you mentioned that is was difficult to always have material. Have you ever asked a member of your congregation to give a 10 minute presentation on a topic of the gospel like faith, repentance, Jesus final days, exc. Its an ever week thing for us. You might be interested.
Reblogged this on WE WALK BY FAITH And not by sight. 2 Cor. 5:7 and commented:
I recently made the choice to leave a church and I found this blog post to be very enlightening, especially the transparency of how pastors struggle with wanting to quit too. Bottom line, ministry is not easy, especially for the pastors and their families. Thankk you for sharing.
Wow! Absolutely love this post. Makes me realize that Pastors are human too…despite their valiant attempts sometimes to appear super human. I recently contemplated leaving my church and I realized that my Pastor took it very hard. Didn’t realize how much members leaving really affects Pastors. The good news is that I reconsidered and stayed since every church has their own flaws. Great read Pastor Matt!
Reading this affirmed a lot for me. We have been hurt by #4, #6, and #10 in just the last year or so.
I won’t tell my story here, but suffice to say that Pastors who abandon their flock for greener pastures, or for duller ones, as un-biblical as it is, this alone goes unquestioned by many. There is no regard to the biblical picture of Christ and His bride. The pastorate is not deemed a calling, but rather a job. And many believers don’t know their Bible enough to proclaim its truth. Many are deceived.
And to address the pragmatist approach to church growth by numbers, is just as perilous. A church outgrows its building? Then plant another church, not an empire or a Camelot… Bigness reaps false conversions and a flock that doesn’t know their Pastor and a Pastor who doesn’t know his flock. A flock who doesn’t know their Bible is bound to get devoured by the enemy. An unprotected flock that is scattered is prone to meet with the wolves. I know this to be true and Jeremiah tells it so profoundly.
Yes Pastors fail their flock time and time again, because they don’t know who they are…
Here’s my story:
http://www.rejoicebeloved.com/category/church-life-2/
All very true.
I SO appreciate what you’ve written. Keep the flame of honesty – and transparency – lit.
We did need to choose a church based on the youth leaders…volunteers were not able to take our instructions about autism seriously.
About sleeping in church…try not to take it personally. Your response is not graceful or forgiving because you are thinking about yourself. My husband is frustrated by his inability to stay awake during sermons, meetings at work, or football games. He works a physically taxing job and he has a medical condition. No one falls asleep while sitting up on purpose. It’s involuntary and uncomfortable. If someone is falling asleep while you are preaching, it isn’t about you. It says something about them. Because my husband and my father fall asleep while sitting up, I have been dealing with this for a while. I gave up on nudging them years ago. They will hear what God wants them to hear. I came this realization when my children were very young and took a lot of my attention. I was frusyrated that I wasn’t able to take notes or hear half the serman…it struck me that God would make sure I heard what he wanted me to hear.
Your husband may need to be evaluated for sleep apnea. My husband had the same problem with staying awake and it was because the only time he was truly sleeping was when he was sitting up.
As I said, no one falls asleep during a serman on purpose. It. Could be sleep apnea or his medication for his blood disorder. He is not overweight by any stretch of thebimagination. Lately he has been diagnosed with anemia. My father worked the nightshift at the main post office downtown. When you sitting in church during normal sleeping hours, it’s understandable that you might fall asleep. They can’t help it and pastors shouldn’t get mad if someone falls asleep during the sermon. They should just accept it without blaming, judging, or letting it confirm their insecurity. Grace and forgiveness should abound.
Interesting. Your job is much harder than it looks.
Pastors have the most important job, and oftentimes, it is the least appreciated.
Heck I’d say most times they fit the model of private successes, public failures. We could all benefit from knowing more about what Pastors have to contend with daily. Maybe then we’d give them some slack.
I think you’re right. Think of all the problems he listens to and prays for, yet probably endures more criticism than affirmation.
You have made a perfect comment; however, in saying pastors have the most important job, you have failed to understand that in the days of the Master walking among us, He made it quite clear to all Christians in any of a number of Messages/Parables, that every single Christian is called to the ministry! There is little doubt in this, as a true understanding of the Everlasting Gospel would bring to you; however, the history of Christianity has been so well destroyed from inside and out by the Deceiver of souls, and a brand new Gospel has been set up which makes Christians feel as if they need only trust in the Master and in the power of His might, and all the rest shall fall and land exactly where it should! This message takes all which is of human understanding and resolution of a spiritual nature out of the complete picture, just as surely as following after Darwin’s theory will extricate the Loving Creator completely out and away from all of His Creation!
There is a Being, originally called Lucifer by His Creator, a name which factored in His career – the whole reason why he was created, for Lucifer, after there was a meeting between the father and the Son, Michael the Archangel would pass over the copy of the meeting into the hands of the Light Bearer, Lucifer. He then would leave the Presence of the Throne of the Father, where he always abode, for he was the Cherub who sat on the left of the Father’s Throne, Michael sitting on Father’s right hand.
Lucifer would eventually reach what must have been the greatest in Assembly Room in square yardage ever made, and therein were all of the angelic realm, who each received a copy of the Plans the Godhead had come up with during their interaction. Each of the angels swiftly set off to the inhabited planets each most often served, and the individual representatives of each inhabited planet was given the light that had come through Lucifer, from the Meeting between the Father and the Son. This was the fashion whereby all in the Universe was kept up to date with all NEWS.
We see here, that in the Third Heaven, there was a duty particular to every created being, and because Earth is the only planet that fell, this Earth needs day after day, a keeping up of everyone, with the news emanating from the Sacred Scriptures! This cannot be done by a handful of so-called specific beings called ministers, but each and every new Christian, must be taught the Everlasting Gospel and what it means to the changed lives of all new Christians, as each and every new child even, just after maybe having been born but a month ago, is brought to the brethren and sisters, and should have the Father of this child, lifted upwards towards Heaven, and Dad prayers a prayer of dedication of the New Child to the Father in Heaven! Why is this done? Well, this is done, so that parents will remember, friends too will remember that this new child was offered to the usage the Father in Heaven would desire of him/her, at the time when the child comes to the age of accountability. If that child at this time, has chosen to be at age 12 0r 13, an irate self-serving young person, he or she must be spoken to by people who have seen the child having been offered up to the will of the Father in Heaven, to be used as to His own bidding. This is the work, not only of the Mom and dad of the child, but all Christians who witnessed that offering, must remind the child what Christianity is all about, as the Body which is composed of many members, have duties they must constantly remember.
Within Christianity all are to remember they each have a spiritual work to do, which cannot be forgotten. Any minister who decides the ministry isn’t right for me and my Family, may be correct concerning this being his work which will keep money in the home for the Family, but that minister can never come to the opinion, my being a minister of the Gospel, just cannot be! The work of the ministry is essential to the Growth of the Everlasting Gospel, especially in a world, where there is the self constantly working against the Spirit: “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit” (Romans 8: 1, KJV). The true meaning of this, is those who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit, simply means, these who walk after the Spirit, NEVER allow, as do non-christians, the self, i.e. in my case, Jim Tilley and my wants and needs as a human being, ever to take the ascendency over the Spirit’s indwelt directions to my sinful flesh! So long as this is the ordinary case of my life, I am a Christian in good standing, always being led of the Spirit, to do the things of the Father by the Spirit of Messiah always in charge, 24/7. If this is not realized within the Christian life you and your Family are living, then you do not understand the everlasting Gospel, nor the message as to how to live on planet Earth, as a True Christian. Never even think to forget these words of Messiah:
“But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him” (John 4: 23, KJV). Yahusha had been in a conversation with a Samaritan woman, who was quite certain she was living a life closer to the beliefs of the Patriarchs than was any Israeli of her day, but Christ gave her an answer that shocked her, and actually should be daily shocking us, for most of Christianity does not realize that the Messiah was speaking of our very day, in 2014. Yes, we work, but at work, we are filled of the Spirit there, and moved by the Spirit there as well, and ALWAYS we are ministers of the Gospel! Today, we are those at the end of time, who have seen clearly how to be the Christians the Father wants of us, which means, we see the self died in Christ 2000 ago, thus the Spirit of Christ Who indwells us, is creating Who the Father desires that we are to become day by day. When the self, called the old man by Paul, wants to get up in our sinful flesh, and “do anything,” this is not to be allowed! Why? Well, it’s simple, really. Sinful and self-sufficient self, indwelling sinful flesh, controlling it = sin is being committed. Sinful self, leading out in sinful flesh in the Christian life, means I am walking in legalism, i.e. trying to lead a sinless life, by bringing the sinful self and the sinful flesh together to do so, as this is absolutely impossible! Legalism, is the self trying to live a better life than Christ can live! Why is this? Christ was sinless, right! THEN, unless I give death to the self, as Christ died as MY SELF, that His Spirit could come to me when I became of an accountable age both for sin, and to understand what the Gospel demands of me, so that I, at 13, can place my faith in the fact Yahusha died as Jim Tilley, and so I place my faith in the fact, I AM DEAD! Once I do this, on my knees before the Father in prayer, THEN I call upon my Father in Heaven, to send the Spirit of Christ, to come and indwell my sinful flesh, TO BECOME THE NEW ME!
The lie that Satan has had around since maybe the middle of the second century A D, is that if I allow my self to remain alive and rule my life, then I may life here as Jim Tilley, and as well, live the hereafter in sinless nature as Jim Tilley too, but the truth is, I can only be in charge of one of these two lives, and so which one will we all choose to have control of: that one that may last for 89 years, depending on how old you are now, as there is little real time left; or that life in sinless nature, that will last eternally when I arrive there?
These are living realities concerning the Christian life! No other “religion” (I would sooner call the Christian Way, a life), tells us firmly after we have become true Bible students, having found the Pearl of Great Price, which I teach as the MEANS of Christianity, that if you allow your self to rule your sinful flesh, you cannot see GOD! We cannot any longer go onward with the so-called inner fighting of humanity, with the self doing somethings that are always wrong, because the sinful self, cannot overcome the inherent selfishness of it – NEVER! And so, in order to see the Father and the Son and have eternity, we MUST see in Christ all of mankind in ONE MAN, dying the second death, then the first death, of us all, that He could save us, through His experience in remaining away from sin!
Satan changed that to my saving myself, in Christ – an impossibility! All I speak herein, is found very clearly in Scripture! Now that you have heard this beautiful truth, for in the Plan of Salvation, there is not one iota that is of human devising! So we DO nothing in the Christian life, but be faithful to the Plan! Soon, as Satan, working through the Papal See, asks all religions to call themselves Catholics, and accept the present and last Pope Francis I to be called your leader in the faith, when a Billion Protestants see this truth, and are convicted of it as certainly the Real Truth of Christianity, the Protestant masses will follow the beauty of the truth, a truth based solely on their faith, and they will stand for this truth, even if it means I will be tortured to death, for not agreeing, during another Inquisition; HOWEVER, Who will be tortured? This is the Secret of the strength to stand for truth, no matter what! It is the Spirit of Christ, giving all of the right answers, and even well able to understand all of the manipulations and jargon used to fool me, a True Christian, into making a mistake! THEN, they shall all hear the answers of Christ coming through me, not by me, but by the Spirit of Christ Who indwells me, as Jim Tilley. Please study these words, and weite to me, if you feel the need, as these are the days all of the prophets of the Sacred Scriptures are witnessing to for us, in the time before the Inquisition, and THEN, the Second Coming. The Seal of Yahuwah (understanding this and living by it by faith), versus the mark of the Beast (allowing the self to remain alive and trying to live a perfect life, when you have never even known what that means, as you are selfishly sinful, as are all but Yahusha Messiah). Choose well!
Reblogged this on Apps Lotus's Blog.
all is very true i like your massge thanks for post
uparekh
http://www.elala.in/
God bless you, and be blessed this Easter. Let Jesus in.
I am going to follow you for a little. and I will be praying for you both.
Jesus the way of our life.this is glory for all of us .God bless you ,let we do for these loves all of us
I’m a non church attending person, and I enjoyed your ‘blog’ entry….I have heard other pastors say some similar stuff…..
I’ve felt all the things you mentioned, and your honesty is refreshing. Thank you! The bottom line is that the whole church ‘system’, especially here in the west, is irreparably broken, and none of this will change without a complete overhaul. Local churches have become program-driven, staff-heavy, institutional money pits that rely on bells, whistles, and other shiny objects to keep people coming back (and writing the occasional tithe check to keep the whole thing going) rather than following the less sexy biblical model of deep discipleship, authentic community, and sacrificial living. The system forces them to put out a better product than their competition down the street, and because the product being consumed is the Sunday morning gathering, that’s where all the money goes, and that’s why so much pressure is heaped on the lead pastor. It’s not just unsustainable…it’s unbiblical. Given all this, are we surprised pastors go off the deep end or leave for greener pastures so often? They’re following a calling from God, yet they are forced (at least they think so) to live it out within a system that not only sets them up to fail, but isolates them from the people they’re called to serve, punishes them for bring vulnerable, and creates walls of competition and envy with other like-minded leaders who would be their best source of support. It’s time to call it like it is, let the s*** hit the fan, and start fresh.
Thanks for sharing. I find your thoughts and those of the people who replied who proved your article’s point ten times over- validating and refreshing.
So basically pastors are human. I think this is a good thing for people to remember. Everyone is a child of God and everyone has fallen short of God’s standards. As long as we try to show that Jesus is our number one priority (and I really suck at this, but I am trying) that’s all we can do.
I never thought of a priest as having such a heavy load on their shoulders – thanks for the education. Some of us Christians feel the same way in today’s current social arena. Watching Christians get murdered overseas is heartbreaking, as is watching our religion become trampled upon daily. I’m afraid even worse times are ahead for us all. We need you, no matter how hard it is for you. If our pastors give up the fight, where will that leave the rest of us?
Stay strong. There is a better life waiting for us all.
I very much agree, sometimes people place pastors as actual gods and when they (surprise, surprise) make mistakes or fall short of their expectations it’s like the unimaginable to them, forgetting at the end of the day they are made of flesh and fighting everyday against that flesh.
Love the post, nice to know a pastor who’s not afraid to be personally honest as opposed to keeping up an “all-holy, all-righteous” front.
You know I totally understand. Now, I am not religious nor have anything to do with churches, let alone pastors. But I can understand everything that you have written because I am also ‘stuck’ in a profession that comes with people’s judgement and expectations. Although I love aspects of it but all these things wear me down too that I have considered quitting. I love your honesty and the courage you have shown in putting it in words. People need to realise that no matter our job title, we are all human beings, with feelings and needs. Like pastors, doctors take it personally when patients seek a second opinion and make wise cracks about us too busy playing golf to return their calls.
Reblogged this on Bg51’s Weblog and commented:
Excellent article
This is a great post.
But here’s the challenge from a dis-satisfied member of a small Episcopal congregation considering leaving. By the time you are thinking of leaving (not an easy decision), you have the distinct feeling you do not enjoy your pastor’s work (sermons or politics or pastoral care or lack of same), or even feel much of a connection with them (who wants to hear that? who wants to have a truthful conversation about it or try to resolve it?). Our small church is also relentlessly focused on families’ needs (youth group, Sunday school, etc) and seems to minister poorly to singles or divorced people. I also had major surgery in 2012 and our minister never once bothered to telephone or drive the 15 minutes to visit me in the hospital (which her predecessor did.) That left a lousy impression, I can tell you.
How would you handle someone telling you that?
I have a close friend who is a Methodist Pastor and I can tell you he can likely relate to everything you say. Bravo for your candor.
11. The Bible is 100% human made.
Reblogged this on Embakasi Reloaded.
Thank you for sharing this brave post. It is important to be able to express feelings, and be honest. Let us all pray for each other. On that note, check out my post Amazing video. It is long, but well worth watching. Happy Easter to all.:)
Reblogged this on jumiss.
This hits home… especially when as a family you are searching for a church home. It is the most important thing to find in a move. It will either make or break your time in the area. Military families understand this.
Reblogged this on haitianbarbiek.
my prayers are with you pastor. Please bear in mind that Christ died for you also, not just for your congregation. Take comfort in the fact that God loves and cares for you. You are not alone. And I understand it fees that way most of the time. From now on I will be praying for you. For grace and peace for your soul. But most of all for joy in His work regardless of what happens. May the peace of God be in your heart always my brother.
Until someone walks on the same path they never understand the emotions. I’m thankful I am now retired from pastoral ministry …. loving God ….. loving my wife and family.
that they go to the whore houses on Friday nights
Three words get -a – JOB!
Illuminating. I don’t know if you read these comments, but there is a different path of growth and calling for each person in your congregation, we are beyond numbers or parishioners to God.
I know what you’re saying and glad you were able to share this, as congregations should really know, their pastor/priest/etc is human.
God is God, and the pastor is a messenger. I do think people can lose sight of this, so this write up is great.
Anyway, relationships with God are personal with church being only one part of it. There can be alot going on in those relationships with God, beyond someone sitting in a pew. Perhaps it can give you some comfort to know some of those relationships happen because of your hand in it?
That is service to God… 🙂
Well said! You know, your list is almost the same as what I would write and I’m a middle school teacher. Of course, you are also a teacher. I appreciate the honesty in your words. I often take it very personally when my students don’t make the best choices in their lives. I measure myself by test scores and yes, I do want kids to say they enjoy my class. Parents can say terrible things, and my skin is supposed to be thick. Is it my ego that hurts when kiddos don’t do well, or parents are horrible to me? No, my heart hurts. It’s okay to be human; it’s not okay for others to judge. My feelings are my feelings, as are yours. Thank you for your thoughtful reflection.
jennitwirler, on behalf of pastors everywhere, thank-you for getting it. I’m sure that because you do that you are probably one who truly gets, and therefore blesses, your students as well. Peace be with you.
Thank you! Last year I had the worst year in 17 years of teaching and spent the summer looking for a new career. Teaching was and is my new career. I left corporate America in order to make a difference in the lives of children, instead of making a difference in the coffers of some company. I’m glad I stayed. I’m having an amazing year and I love my kiddos. There have been rough days, but now I keep a blessings jar to keep track of the good things that happen. Those are what I focus on, not the other things. I examine the negative things that happen and see if there if there is any truth there, or if I bear responsibility….. if not, done, moving on. Fortunately, I often hear what I need to hear at church on Sundays, and because a pastor made a difference in my life, I am wrapping up year 18 and looking forward to more years with my amazing students. In His grip ~ Jenni
nice words encouraging
I wrote a post about Islam, worth a read 😛
I built a semiconductor business with 3500 employees in facilities around the world. That took better part of two decades working 80 hours and traveling over 200K miles per year.
We feel betrayed when we’ve helped someone with a job and they split to the competition, or when we’ve given a customer all we had, only to have them leave for the competition.
I sacrificed months of being gone from family and friends to build the business to provide security for my family, and they sacrificed by accepting my absence, knowing that in an uncertain world, I was doing what I could to help them, the employees and our customers.
Not sure one can build any business without having to perform to customers, potential employees, banks, shareholders etc.
Your complaints are mostly the complaints of any serious business person.
Rick, you’re absolutely right that few of these issues (if any) are unique to pastors. I think one part of pastorboz’s post is to help people see that pastors are not immune from them either. Though, apparently, based on some of the respondents posts, pastors are not free to confess their weaknesses and are expected to be perfect.